When updating the website of my wife COLORS OF THE DEEP I noticed how long ago it was that I also updated the travel blog. Didn’t we travel anymore? Of course we did. But not really much fun travel. So why didn’t I update the blog? Partly because I had no time, partly because I was lacking inspiration and partly because the job interfered with our leisure travel. What was your excuse? After the fantastic Yorkshire Dale trip (in September 2019 – OMG is it that long ago already? I should still write abut that one too) and when I came back into the office in Brussels I was immediately summoned by my boss who informed me that I shouldn’t unpack my bags as I was expected in London in our Embassy to step in for one of the three consuls there who left his posting prematurely.
So back to the UK it was for part of October and November. In London I arrived in what can only be described as complete pre-Brexit madness! Perhaps I should specify that I arrived in London on October 15 and it was expected that Boris The Blond Bombshell (or the Nicer Donald Trump as some also lovingly nickname him) was going to leave the EU without a deal. A few examples of The Doomsday Brexit Scenarios circulating at the time: the Port of Dover would “collapse on day one”; “Supermarkets in Cornwall and Scotland will run out of food within a couple of days… hospitals will run out of medicine within two weeks.” “All British airlines’ flights to the EU will be grounded”; RAF will have to ferry supplies to the furthest corners of the UK. “You would have to medevac medicine into Britain, and at the end of week two we would be running out of petrol as well”; I really thought that I was back in my African days where an invasion by a neighboring country, a civil war, an army mutiny or the odd coup d’état by a raving mad army sergeant and his buddies was always lurking just around the corner.
And once again, back in London then: Embassy contingency plans were being drawn up, leaves being cancelled, emergency briefings organized, …. In short everyone and his dog were in a “no-deal Brexit” frenzy. How did we end up with this clusterfuck? Hard to say as even British people are still confused by the arguments either way. They interviewed people after the Brexit vote. One bloke was like ‘I voted leave but I didn’t really want to leave Europe’ – you moron: there were two options on the form, how did you manage to screw that one up? Another bloke said ‘I just voted Leave to get the Muslims out’ – he’s in for a shock when he finds out most Muslims don’t come from Luxembourg.” Or what about this one “I voted Remain, not just for political reasons but because my mother in law moved to Spain and I want her to stay there.” Now that’s more recognizable isn’t it?
Oh and Brexit did wonders for the unity of the UK of course.
Just imagine if you can: an Englishman, a Scotsman, a Welshman and an Irishman walk into a bar. The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave … and just now I read that Brexiteers now think a second referendum could return to the agenda! It seems the Corona virus affects some people’s brain also. Anyways, no-deal Brexit didn’t happen (yet) John “orderrrrr ORDERRRRRRRR ORDERRRRRR” Bercow left and in the meantime we have Corona to distract us from Brexit.
Which allowed us in the Embassy to recycle some of the contingency plans which would have otherwise gone to waste.
OK back to traveling. Where was I ? ah yes: long story short: I finished my one month in London, went back to HQ Brussels, found out that my new posting wasn’t going to be in the summer of 2020 but was to happen already in January 2020 and the winner was …..London.
What is this absolutely wanting to have me in London? So we went through the usual ritual of breaking the lease of our house in Belgium, look for another house in the UK, packing stuff, unpacking stuff… All with the prospect of being ready and rearing to go and discover this wonderful island as soon as the winter would end. Yeah well, winter’s finished now but we’re still stuck inside: lock-down because of the Chinese Virus.
Oh no ! did I just say Chinese Virus ? Isn’t it striking how people, countries and organizations tiptoe around this Chinese dictatorship? While it is perfectly normal to name diseases after places. Lyme disease is named after a village in the US state of Connecticut. The Zika virus was first detected in the Ugandan Zika forest. The “ME” of “MERS” stands for “Middle East”. Ebola is a river in Congo. The West Nile virus, the Lasso fever, the Guinea worm… But the World Health Organization doesn’t want to offend Beijing so calling it the Chinese Virus is a big NONO. Oops did I just say it again?
But hey they can’t hold us down forever, it’s only a matter of time before this hardship too will end and hopefully we will have survived to fight another day or to pleasure you with my travel stories and our adventures in the UK.
So until that glorious day here are some completely useless facts about the UK to lighten the mood: Although Britain has been involved in many wars lasting decades, it has also been involved in the shortest war. The Anglo-Zanzibar War fought in 1896 lasted only 38 minutes. Wonder who won? Google it. More than 3,000 people in the UK were hospitalized in 1999 for tripping over a laundry basket. Over 6,000 people are hurt or die in Britain annually for tripping over their trousers or falling downstairs while putting them on (too much Scotch ?)
London has the highest number of languages (300) than any other country in the world and of all countries that celebrate Independence Day, 58 are independent of the UK. The 16th-century law in the UK forbade wife beating after 9 PM, simply because the noise disturbed people’s sleep.
Road signs in Wales tend to be written in both Welsh and English, but some of the more complicated spellings might still flummox you when you’re in Wales. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllllandysiliogogogoch is one of the longest town names in the world – but don’t worry – most people choose to shorten it to the more manageable Llanfairpwll. Well that was it for me right now.
And as far as the latest update on the Chinese virus is concerned it seems that soon we will be able to start traveling again so watch this space! In the meantime you will have to make do with some photo’s of the few awesome places we did manage to visit in the UK already.
